we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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