what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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