a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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