____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We are two peas in an std pod
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I have fence marks all over my body
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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