if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
