I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
