OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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