i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
