she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
as a side note pls kill me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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