The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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