plz talk dirty to me
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
