she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
