Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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