And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize