I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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