The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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