I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
