Your tits are I can't wait for
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
