I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
