Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
