We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
