you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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