Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
