Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize