is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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