There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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