glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize