so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize