I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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