so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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