i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
