Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
