So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
