the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
