Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
