guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
