The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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