will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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