8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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