i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my shit smells like andre
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
