Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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