whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
