he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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