Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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