I wanna bring you to show and tell
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
