After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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