How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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