went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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