We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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