on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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