Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
