am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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