Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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