So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
