You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
