You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
