People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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