like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
