What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize