ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
