left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
