Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
