I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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