Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
